The Art of Self-Assessment: Moving Beyond External Benchmarks

People who know me will confirm that I rarely hesitate before sharing my thoughts, especially when it comes to topics I’m passionate about—I simply can't stay silent.

Last week, during the final moments of a lesson, my student asked:

– Teacher, how am I progressing?

I responded: "You're forming correct statements, negations, and questions in three tenses—present, past, and future. You can ask for help, directions, and talk about yourself, your family, and possessions—all from scratch in just 11 lessons. I think that’s a very good result."

Then he asked: "No, teacher. How am I progressing compared to the other students you teach?"

That moment gave me pause. My mind immediately set off an internal dialogue—why does he want to compare himself to others? What if others are learning faster—will he feel discouraged or less gifted? Or if he learns at a slower pace, will that make him feel special or less motivated?

In my view, the advantage of private lessons is that each person learns at their own rhythm, benefiting from a personalized plan tailored to their starting point and progress. So, why focus on comparisons? The only person you should measure yourself against is you—yesterday versus today. Your growth is what truly matters.

Throughout the day, I kept pondering: why do people compare themselves to others? I realized that comparison is a natural, human tendency—almost instinctive. We constantly judge ourselves and others in areas ranging from intellect to athletic ability. Numerous psychological studies show that comparisons can be useful for self-evaluation; however, they often hold us back from realizing our full potential.

Marco Wittmann, a doctoral student in cognitive neuroscience at the University of Oxford, notes: “We found that although people estimate their abilities rationally based on their performance, their self-assessments are partly merged with the performance of others.” He further explains that interacting with high performers can boost feelings of competence in team settings, but may diminish confidence in competitive contexts. Such findings highlight the complex impact of comparison on our mindsets and social interactions.

A study published in Neuron underscores this point, revealing that comparisons are often biased and unfair—shifting our focus outside of ourselves. Our self-assessment is heavily influenced by how others perform, which can distort our actual abilities.

This naturally raises the question: is comparing students and their progress in the classroom appropriate? Since I’ve been a teacher, I am constantly searching for methods to maximize learning efficiency—helping students absorb as much as possible in the shortest time. I understand that some might perform better when challenged, that competition can motivate some, but it can also discourage others. Ultimately, the best approach is to recognize each individual’s unique way of learning. If you can say that today you’ve learned something new, then you’ve grown—you’re one step closer to your goal.

Remember, persistence and consistency, not speed, are what truly forge progress across all fields. Sometimes, healthy competition has its place, but never forget that the most admirable qualities—love, gratitude, humility, empathy, and generosity—are incomparable. These are the qualities that truly make a difference on our life’s journey.

May we all learn to look inward, cherish our unique journeys, and recognize that true greatness lies not in comparison, but in continuous self-improvement rooted in humility, love, and genuine human connection.

With best wishes to all my readers, Torry